Many people who visit my office will begin with “I am so overwhelmed.”
That gives me a very big clue right off the bat. I know that generally they are unable to cope with whatever circumstances they may be confronting. I use the word “generally” because there are many reasons for feeling overwhelmed.
Some of the common reasons can be grief and loss, an excessive workload, relationship issues and major changes in life. Many people in our current economy are overwhelmed with financial stressors and/or health concerns.
I often meet with individuals who have been impacted by traumatic events and they are unable to cope with daily life. Sometimes the flood of information about our current environmental conditions or political implications can be too much to process. It can feel like a bombardment of too much information.
No matter what the underlying cause for feeling overwhelmed is, the symptoms are pretty much the same. The physical, mental and emotional impact is related to stress and anxiety.
Essentially, the overwhelmed condition occurs when many stressors accumulate to the point that they engulf the individual with a sense of too much to deal with. It is hard to know what to do next so most people end up doing nothing. It can feel like the walls are closing in and there is nowhere to turn.
Feeling overwhelmed also impacts our mood. Negative thinking, our default when things are out of control, creates a perfect breeding ground for depression. Thoughts can include “I can’t cope, this will never change, I don’t know what I am doing, life is too much right now.”
These thoughts trigger the cycle of anxiety and the sympathetic nervous system starts releasing adrenaline. That causes the physical discomfort that individuals report.
“I can’t sleep, I can’t stop thinking, I feel sick to my stomach, I am filled with dread, I feel stuck.”
As we have learned, anxiety is about fear, worry, dread and feeling like things are not in your control. The feeling of being overwhelmed has its roots in what you are thinking. If your thoughts are self-defeating (I can’t) you can use your self-talk to support yourself (I can, I will).
My suggestion for dealing with being overwhelmed is to begin with one stressor at a time.
I recommend making a list of all that is on the plate. Remove everything that is not necessary, rank the rest and then only address the top item on the list. Only move on to the next when the first item feels under control.
It is similar to that proverb “How do you eat an elephant? Answer: One bite at a time.”
The root cause of being overwhelmed is having too many things to deal with, so the logical answer is to take it one step at a time. Once we realize we are in control of what we think and what we do, everything falls into place.
Deborah Joyce is a registered psychotherapist with a practice in Powell River and Comox Valley. Questions can be forwarded to her through the Peak.
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