If you are a person who actually watches the commercials that bombard us between our chosen entertainment, you will no doubt have seen the white sand beaches that are calling to you with the enticing prospect of fun in the sun after retirement.
What is not clear in these advertisements is that the frolicking in the sun has a time limit called vacation. The real question is: What comes after the two weeks in sunny Jamaica?
Over the years of my practice, I have had many people who are attempting to answer that question. What next? Who am I without my work? How can I fill my time each day?
There is no doubt that retirement can bring benefits. The reduction in stress can be at the top of the list for many people.
It can also take time to adjust to the absence of the adrenaline rush that comes with stress but eventually, with some intention and direction, the body can start to relax. Retirees may start to feel healthier both mentally and emotionally by accepting the changes in activity levels. For most people this is definitely an adjustment but many people will attest that it is worth it.
My observation is that the most dominant impact of retirement is the loss of self. In our society, work is very much a part of our identity. Most people recognize that they get much more from the workplace than money, although there is no denying that money plays a role in quality of life.
Our employment provides a social platform related to our coworkers and our social context. We meet people at work and the workplace provides social connection. Work meets our need to be productive.
In Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, actualization is a human need. We need to be moving forward, participating and improving and contributing in order to feel whole.
In the absence of paid work individuals will create “work roles” to meet this need. One common way this plays out is through volunteerism, a very satisfying way to fill the abundance of free time that some retirees experience. Volunteering can produce a sense of purpose that is essential to the SELF.
The sense of grief that many retirees experience after the initial euphoria of retirement is well documented. We grieve when we feel a loss and that includes the sense of identity we get from work.
In my work with retired individuals who are struggling, it is common to identify the grieving process that includes low mood, sadness, emotional mood swings, irritability, lack of focus and anxiety about the future. Recognizing that grief is part of the picture is the first step to acceptance.
I suggest that if you are thinking of retirement, start planning the lifestyle that will support a positive way forward. Retirement means more time with family, more time for hobbies and more time to enjoy your home. Embrace the possibilities!
Deborah Joyce is a registered psychotherapist with a practice in Powell River and Comox Valley. Questions can be forwarded to her through the Peak.
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