How do we define resilience?
We all heard the words “resilient child.” I wonder what happens to that resilient child after he or she becomes an adult.
After many years of working with families, I discovered that kids feel the same way as us adults. They experience sadness, anxiety or depression. They just can’t articulate their feelings.
As a result, their behaviour shows up in aggression, withdrawal or unhappiness. When we reach adulthood, some of us become people pleasers, overachievers or in constant search for approval from others.
Find your tribe
Connect with people who can support you through tough times. If your family and friends are not able to help you, seek help from your doctor or therapist. Every misfortune we experience in life is a chance to strengthen our resilience. See setbacks as temporary, not lifelong suffering.
Welcome change
Accept that change is unavoidable and will happen despite our resistance. The goals you set for yourself may not be attainable as a result of unfavourable situations. Accepting situations that cannot be changed can help you to focus on the things you can change.
Set achievable goals
Concentrate on small steps and realistic goals that can be accomplished in a short time. Don’t wait until you recover from unpleasant circumstances to do something to improve your life.
Ask yourself: “What’s one thing I can do today that will make a difference in my life tomorrow.” Becoming resilient is achieved by doing things despite the difficult situation.
Take focused action
Take action sooner than later. Waiting and hoping that problems will magically disappear can immobilize you to the point of lethargy.
Years ago, I went through some difficult times. Almost every area of my life was negatively affected by the situation I was in. It was an outcome of my avoidance to deal with life challenges.
I received help from people who went through the same experience and survived.
I also learned to accept myself and work on the things that needed improvement. Discovering that life is about learning and creating liberated me from years of unhappiness.
Get to know yourself
In any adverse situation, our resilience will be tested. Write down your best traits, those that you are proud of. Don’t forget the habits you have that might hinder your progress.
Nobody can prepare us for the tragedies in life but going through them can make us resilient and more appreciative of life.
Take care of yourself
Engage in activities that can help you stay calm. Some people meditate, read or walk through nature.
Taking care of yourself is a preparation to deal with situations that require resilience. These activities can help you relax after a hectic day and make you more resistant to stress.
Don’t isolate yourself from people who love you and want to help you. Relationships are strengthened in tragedy. From time to time, all of us need help from family and friends.
I wish you abundant and peaceful life!
Ranka Burzan owns a professional organizing company based in the qathet region and has written several books on reducing clutter and becoming more organized. For information, go to solutionsorganizing.com.
