I was never successful in keeping a traditional new year resolution. I felt pressured to solve my life challenges all at once, and fear of failure was my constant companion.
The dictionary interpretation of resolution is persistence and to be ruthless. I didn’t know how to go from avoiding any change to being a poster child for change.
Here are the critical reasons why many of us fail with New Year’s resolutions.
Lack of commitment
Deep inside you want to change to be a more financially secure, physically fit or overall successful person. Or maybe you want to change but are not willing to make sacrifices. The piece of chocolate cake on January 5 was where you went weak.
All or nothing mindset
When we try to solve every problem we avoided for the last 10 years, we will fail. At this point, you have to prioritize what project or chore will make the biggest impact and move you forward.
Lack of support
When we start making positive changes in our life, we desperately need support from our family and friends. That can be financial, emotional or hands-on. If your family or friends are not able, seek help from a professional.
Lack of information
To accomplish something, you need to know how to do it. Before you even start thinking about life changes, surround yourself with people who can help you. It could be your doctor, counsellor, or life coach. Empower yourself with knowledge, new energy and opportunity.
Responsibility overload
I would never recommend anyone to wait for that perfect time to do something. Unexpected and unfortunate life events are not the ideal times to make major life decisions. This could be illness, death in the family or divorce. Here you can wait until you have some clarity of the situation. In the meantime, look for people who can help you.
Blaming others
This one didn’t work for me or any of my clients. Making others responsible for all the unpleasant things that happen to us is something our modern society supports as perfectly acceptable.
Blaming family and friends never works but severely impacts the relationship. Blame means less work and accountability on our part, with no favourable results.
When you don’t take responsibility for your life, your personal growth is stagnant, making you overwhelmed and frustrated. Some people use blaming to make themselves a victim. Whether you are using blame to be unique or a victim, both come from a lack of self-esteem.
No instant gratification
So many people give up when they realize there is no such thing as overnight success.
Social media messages are very powerful and misleading to the younger generation, who lack long life experience. Thousands of books and presentations are done daily by self-made gurus promoting instant success.
Instead of sharing your life goals on Facebook, brainstorm your opinions and feelings with a group of people with similar life interests.
If you’ve already let one resolution slip in 2023, it’s never too late to start over.
I wish you a belated and very happy, prosperous New Year!
Life coach Ranka Burzan owns a professional organizing company based in the qathet region and has written several books on reducing clutter and becoming more organized. For information, go to solutionsorganizing.com.
