For more than a couple years now, I have had the fortune of writing a Healthy Living column in the pages of the Peak. With gratitude, I stand on my little digital soapbox at the intersection of “Good Intentions” Avenue and “Self-Righteous” Boulevard on a long and curvy road to wellness.
I gather information from my personal trauma attached to long-term addiction and previously untreated mental health issues. Also, ideas come from what I consider responsible research drawn from the vast ether of our information-heavy world.
I earnestly try to share and, hopefully, be part of a positive collective force to soften the hard edges of this uncertain world.
If I am aware of the habits and behaviours which lead to a healthy and balanced mind, why, after years of working diligently in that area, am I not there yet? Why is it so difficult to practice what I preach? Is the opposite aphorism, “do as I say, not as I do,” a far more user-friendly approach?
It sometimes feels like there is a Grand Canyon-sized divide between my thoughts and ideas, and my actions and habits.
I have discovered that I am not alone in my susceptibility to hypocrisy. It is such a common part of being human that psychologists have named this glitch Solomon’s paradox.
It was named after the wise King Solomon, renowned for his legendary wisdom in ancient times. He was famous for giving excellent advice to others. However, he struggled to follow his advice when faced with personal choices.
One glaring example of this was his decision to marry many wives. In the Book of Proverbs, Solomon writes about the dangers of marrying many wives, saying that “he who loves many women is not wise.”
However, the King married 700 wives and took on 300 concubines. This decision ultimately led to his downfall, as his wives turned his heart away from God.
After reading this particular story of King Solomon’s shortcomings while pontificating standards for marriage, I felt like I might be being hard on myself, which is also something to be cautious about in recovery and the search for wellness in general.
Nonetheless, King Solomon’s misguided adventure is a cautionary tale that wisdom alone does not guarantee personal success or happiness. In fact, “the stories of Solomon and the perspectives offered by prior research suggest that Solomon’s paradox may represent a fundamental and widespread social cognitive bias,” according to psychologists.
Among the many cognitive biases which subconsciously influence our decisions and behaviour, psychologists might have explained my inability to practice what I preach. Solomon’s paradox and cognitive bias demonstrate the complexities of human nature. Perhaps oversimplification with sayings such as “practice what you preach,” fail to get beyond the surface of things.
We try to be humans with integrity who live by the wisdom of the words we speak. Nonetheless, being human is more complicated than Facebook memes and famous ancient sayings with good intentions. Just ask King Solomon and his 700 wives.
Robert Skender is a qathet region freelance writer and health commentator who contributes a regular column for the Peak.
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