Valentine’s Day can bring up mixed feelings for some, mostly because love is such a complicated emotion. Love can bring us the highest highs and the lowest lows, and because Valentine’s Day is connected to romantic love, it can be even more difficult for single people, including those who have ended long-term relationships or lost their partners.
The prevailing sentiment is if you are happy and fulfilled in your romantic relationship, Valentine’s Day is the ultimate holiday: a celebration of the intimate love you share with another person, possibly even your soulmate.
However, the very concept of a soulmate can have a nauseating effect on those who either have not met theirs, or believe the concept is fundamentally flawed. Some of us are lucky to have found a person we can spend the rest of our lives with, but are they really our soulmate or just a very compatible person? What about those who want to find someone special to spend their future with, but can’t, or who simply choose not to find anyone to share romantic love and instead go through the adventures of life solo?
So here’s the bit that every good personal counsellor or relationship coach will say: you have got to love yourself first.
Valentine’s Day is about celebrating love, so what better person to love than yourself? The more you love yourself, the more you can love others, and that could either strengthen your current relationship, help you find true love in the future, or be the key to living life on your own without feeling lonely or that you are missing out on a long-term romantic relationship.
Sometimes single people are left out on Valentine’s Day, and that is unfortunate. Some who are not romantically involved with anyone are still brimming with love and can be the warmest, most intimate people. Perhaps it’s because they have more time alone to love themselves, or maybe it’s just a special someone who can remain single in a society that pressures people to pair up, get married, have kids and so on.
So, on Valentine’s Day this Sunday, take some time out to treat your single friends and tell them how much they mean to you. If they already love themselves, they will probably be having a blast anyway, but if they need some reassurance, Valentine’s Day is the perfect opportunity to give it to them.
-Jason Schreurs, publisher/editor