Things may have turned out differently for Romeo and Juliet if only they had cellphones.
The tri-part revolution of social networking applications, a pervasive Internet and an always accessible mobile phone have changed the ways people connect and in turn affected how people court each other and conduct relationships.
“Romeo, O Romeo, wherefore art thou Romeo?” said Juliet from her balcony into the night air in William Shakespeare’s take on teen romance and tragedy. Nowadays, she would have simply picked up her phone and either texted Romeo or opened a social network website to look for his location update.
If Romeo and Juliet had cellphones they might have lived happily ever after, according to researchers Barry Wellman and Lee Rainie in their study of Romeo and Juliet and mobile phones.
Erin McKenzie, 17, is a grade 12 student at Brooks Secondary School and, like many teens, social networking over the Internet has changed her life. She met her boyfriend Trent Mahy, 18, online three years ago. She describes herself as “a shy person” when she’s first meeting people.
“I wasn’t friends with a lot of people his age,” said Erin. Trent’s friend on Facebook started chatting with Erin and then Trent joined in the conversation. “I don’t know how we would have met. I didn’t see him around school.”
Both Erin and Trent have Apple iPhones and use them to stay in constant touch with each other with text messages and social media websites.
“I use my phone a lot,” said Erin. “I have Instagram, Twitter and Facebook, but I’d rather talk to people in person.”
The mobile revolution has led to the defeat of geography.
Before cellphones, teens would have to use instant messaging programs on their computers to chat with their friends and be limited to the physical location of where the computer or Internet connection was in the home, office, school or coffee shop.
In elementary school, Erin used Microsoft Messenger to chat with friends because she said it was easier for her.
Having mobile phones or tablets would have allowed Romeo and Juliet to move around, liberated from place and family surveillance. And while that may seem like giving too much freedom to teenagers, parents see it also as a way of maintaining connection.
When Erin and Trent first started dating they texted a lot. Erin discovered that the unlimited plan on her cellphone actually was limited to 5,000 text messages in a month.
“I had a really expensive phone bill that month,” said Erin.
Since then the amount that they text has gone down, but the ability to find out immediately what each other is doing remains a comfort for the couple.
“It’s so much easier to get quick answers,” said Erin. “I still like talking on the phone, but texting is good, too.”
With a majority of teens having cellphones, the idea of constant social connection is appealing to teenagers who are increasingly becoming more friends-oriented.
“I don’t want to rely on my phone, but I know I do,” said Erin.
According to Wellman, most Canadian children had their own cellphone by the time they turned 13 years old.
As Erin looks to the future, she said she hopes to attend the University of Victoria next fall, but that will mean being separated from Trent who is planning to move to Nanaimo. He will be entering his second year of the dual credit carpentry program, a partnership between Vancouver Island University and School District 47.
While Victoria and Nanaimo may not be too distant, after Trent finishes his program, Erin said he plans to move to northern BC for work.
“I can see him on Facetime and Skype or phone or text him,” said Erin. “There’s so many ways I can stay in contact with him.”
The digital revolution may have brought instant communication and easy textual gratification, but it hasn’t exactly been a boon for romance.
While students of English literature may have spent centuries trying to decode the meaning of Shakespeare’s Sonnet 128, texters are left with an equally demanding job of trying to decode meaning from a string of abbreviated characters. Because messages are short and often unclear, forum websites have been created to help people try to decipher their meaning in a community setting.
“I really dislike how you can’t tell someone’s tone from text messages,” said Erin. “I like hearing people’s voices and seeing their reactions.”
While social networking websites may allow people to move out into other groups and meet new people, geography still limits the encounters IRL (in real life).
Duane Burnett is a single 48-year-old from Sechelt who uses Facebook to communicate with friends and finds it “extremely difficult to meet other singles on the coast.”
“Social media has allowed me to join several online dating sites,” he said. “The frustration is that people are not often who they appear to be, or just time wasters. Once they hear I live on an ‘island’ so far away from Vancouver (I can see UBC from the Roberts Creek pier), they drop me like a hot potato.”
In little more than a decade, the mobile revolution has changed not only the way teens and adults connect with friends and family, it has also changed the face of modern romance.
